Failure vs. Results

So take a deep breath and 10 steps backward.  Count your blessings.  Literally.  Make a list of everything that’s going RIGHT in your world.  Still breathing?  Check.  Sun rose in the east?  Check.  So far, so good.  I’m not kidding when I say this.  Start with the very basic blessings and look for what else is going right.  

Look, I’ve seen people come back from homelessness and incurable diseases.  But they did not do it by blaming others, being angry, or living in despair.  It’s okay to go there once in a while.  I understand.  

But you have to put a timer on it.  When that buzzer goes off… pick yourself up and move on.  What do you have that’s WORKING?  

There are two major reasons why we don’t get the results we want:  

The first is that we’re busy mentally rehearsing for failure.  A mental rehearsal is preparation for a live demonstration.  So get out of your own way.  Start rehearsing for success.  No one else can do your push ups for you.  You’ve got to focus on thinking about everything that you already have going for you, and start building on THAT.  Interrupt yourself several times a day with reminders to think about how GOOD things really are right now, and at least once a day to just dream a little about all of the good things you are moving toward right now.  

The second reason is inflexible communication.  

Something didn’t work, and you can’t control how others respond to your communication.   So something went wrong in your communication.  It failed to have the desired effect, and ALL THAT MEANS IS THAT YOU NEED TO ADJUST YOUR COMMUNICATION.  

It doesn’t mean the world is against you.  It doesn’t even mean you are a terrible communicator.  It doesn’t mean that people don’t like you, hate your product, think you’re stupid, or aren’t interested.   It doesn’t mean anything at all except that you need to adjust something in your communication.     

The best news here is that you are extremely well-positioned to do this!  

In fact, you’re the only one who can.  

So take that deep breath and 10 steps backward and examine the entire proposal, interaction, or whatever communication did not produce the desired results and look for the breakdown.  Is there something you need to learn?  Some approach that might be more effective? Look at the specific language you used, and decide how you can improve it. Perhaps the format, timing, or environment was not optimal.  If you’re selling a product or service, keep in mind that people need to see your offering an average of 14 times before they decide to click on a link, stop by a business, or communicate with you.  

The odds are good that you’re not only doing better than you think, you’ve just eliminated one of the common stumbling blocks to successful communication.  Now you know what NOT to do.  You never have to make that mistake again.