FULL DISCLOSURE NOTICE: I am NOT a psychologist.
Nor do I wish to be a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist. And I’ll tell you why: Therapists, by definition, have a stated goal of restoring people to health. In other words, they “fix” people who aren’t “healthy”. That’s not what I do.
I don’t approach my work from the perspective that something is broken and needs to be fixed.
I think that people sometimes forget how to access their power.
EVERYONE has misperceptions, erroneous beliefs, and a backlog of traumatic events. Everyone. And yet, SOME of us are better positioned to recalibrate, change our minds when new information is presented, bounce back from failures, and try, try again. So what makes the difference?
The difference, in my opinion and experience, is often that ONE thing has tipped the scales in favor of defeat and we have temporarily been distracted. All of a sudden we’ve forgotten to notice our strengths. We’re fixated on a PROBLEM, and we just don’t ask questions like “What keeps me going?” Sometimes we tell a story that says we do it FOR someone else; maybe our kids or our spouses. But that doesn’t answer the real question, which is “What INTERNAL strengths make it possible for me to do all that for someone else?”
Because the truth is that there something inside YOU that rises to the occasion (even if it does grumble about it), and that something is only looking for an external “reason” to step up and do it. Actually, it’s probably quite a number of “somethings”, and it’s time to take stock and name them. Because when you KNOW what your real strengths are, you can organize a game plan that plays to those strengths, amplifies them, and gives you a real REASON to feel good again.
And when we FEEL better, we DO better.
It’s been proven again and again that we don’t feel better AFTER a good thing happens. Or at least not more than temporarily. For long term happiness, we MUST recognize that good things happen when we feel better first. For instance, people often think that they’d feel better if they had more money, but the science has proven that this is not true. Lottery jackpot winners are NOT happier, and often experience radical changes that actually DECREASE their overall happiness. Once our basic needs are met, extra money does NOT make us happier. But being happier tends to help us accumulate more wealth. When we are happy we are more productive, more goal-oriented, more organized, and more likely to persist in the face of temporary setbacks. Our confidence grows, enthusiasm shows, and people are more likely to respond with assistance and mentorship. When we are happy, we tend to NOTICE opportunities AND to have social networks in place to help us take advantage of them.
Being happy in the face of obstacles, challenges, and even ill health IS possible when we can recognize, name, and capitalize on our strengths. And EVERYONE has strengths, just as they have obstacles, challenges, and “problems”. When we discover and play to our STRENGTHS, we are naturally more happy, confident, and optimistic. And good things are sure to happen.
So no, I don’t focus on problems. I focus on the solutions, and those solutions are already within you! Call for your FREE consultation, and let’s explore your solutions!
Nor do I wish to be a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist. And I’ll tell you why: Therapists, by definition, have a stated goal of restoring people to health. In other words, they “fix” people who aren’t “healthy”. That’s not what I do.
I don’t approach my work from the perspective that something is broken and needs to be fixed.
I think that people sometimes forget how to access their power.
EVERYONE has misperceptions, erroneous beliefs, and a backlog of traumatic events. Everyone. And yet, SOME of us are better positioned to recalibrate, change our minds when new information is presented, bounce back from failures, and try, try again. So what makes the difference?
The difference, in my opinion and experience, is often that ONE thing has tipped the scales in favor of defeat and we have temporarily been distracted. All of a sudden we’ve forgotten to notice our strengths. We’re fixated on a PROBLEM, and we just don’t ask questions like “What keeps me going?” Sometimes we tell a story that says we do it FOR someone else; maybe our kids or our spouses. But that doesn’t answer the real question, which is “What INTERNAL strengths make it possible for me to do all that for someone else?”
Because the truth is that there something inside YOU that rises to the occasion (even if it does grumble about it), and that something is only looking for an external “reason” to step up and do it. Actually, it’s probably quite a number of “somethings”, and it’s time to take stock and name them. Because when you KNOW what your real strengths are, you can organize a game plan that plays to those strengths, amplifies them, and gives you a real REASON to feel good again.
And when we FEEL better, we DO better.
It’s been proven again and again that we don’t feel better AFTER a good thing happens. Or at least not more than temporarily. For long term happiness, we MUST recognize that good things happen when we feel better first. For instance, people often think that they’d feel better if they had more money, but the science has proven that this is not true. Lottery jackpot winners are NOT happier, and often experience radical changes that actually DECREASE their overall happiness. Once our basic needs are met, extra money does NOT make us happier. But being happier tends to help us accumulate more wealth. When we are happy we are more productive, more goal-oriented, more organized, and more likely to persist in the face of temporary setbacks. Our confidence grows, enthusiasm shows, and people are more likely to respond with assistance and mentorship. When we are happy, we tend to NOTICE opportunities AND to have social networks in place to help us take advantage of them.
Being happy in the face of obstacles, challenges, and even ill health IS possible when we can recognize, name, and capitalize on our strengths. And EVERYONE has strengths, just as they have obstacles, challenges, and “problems”. When we discover and play to our STRENGTHS, we are naturally more happy, confident, and optimistic. And good things are sure to happen.
So no, I don’t focus on problems. I focus on the solutions, and those solutions are already within you! Call for your FREE consultation, and let’s explore your solutions!
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